Letters of Goodbye: To “Queen In Hyun’s Man”
Dear “Queen In Hyun’s Man,”
This letter is written to you, and at the same time, to me.
In several years, I may forget that I had ever written this letter…
Or the blog in which this letter exists might disappear.
This letter is written for either me or you, whoever may be living holding on to memories.
When I first came into possession of you, I wanted to know the cause and effect.
At first, I thought it was to realize my hopeless dream of finding the perfect drama.
Then I thought, it was to help me start a recapping project.
Finally I thought, it was to live my life in the warm glow of your memories.
But now I have belatedly realized the true effect.
If the cause was short entertainment, then the effect was the loss of everything.
My vision, my health, my tissue box…my sleep…and also you.
In order to be entertained, I had to give up an equivalent price. This is a foregone conclusion.
To think that I could keep even my sanity was foolish.
How much more must I lose in order to repay the price?
Not being able to see you anymore… I have realized even that is a luxury.
Sanity. My sanity.
Losing it is the final price I must pay.
I do not know what will happen now.
Will I just forget you, lost in the deep abyss of my mind, or will I live on, forever in agony?
If I have a final wish…it is to remember you.
In a world full of so many bad dramas, to not have even you as the fallback would be hell.
Even if you should happen to read this letter in the future, I hope you won’t know who it is for.
Otherwise, it means you have some kind of consciousness and that is just scary.