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Letter of Love: From Young to Eun-soo

Josh Groban- “Awake”

Imja,

When I first brought you here to this land, I was barely alive. As a warrior, death was always a part of my life but it was also something I fought against. I had a country to fight for, a family to protect, and a love to cherish for the rest of my days. But after the king I risked my life to serve took away that family and love from me, death was no longer an enemy but a friend I was waiting for. Life merely became a march towards death and I scorned all those who struggled against the inevitable. I closed my eyes against life, unable, no…unwilling to see the bright daylight that reminded me I was still alive while everyone I loved wasn’t. So when I couldn’t keep my oath to you, and you in your anger dashed toward me, I welcomed the blade that promised to shut my eyes forever.

Imja. I am sorry. I’m sorry for bringing you here and tearing you from your life in your world- from your family, friends, and safe haven. I’m sorry that I couldn’t send you back as I promised and you had to face danger and bloodshed here in my chaotic world. But I couldn’t see you then, because death began to envelope me and I welcomed it, in my despair, with open arms. I descended deeper into the frozen depths of my heart and sought refuge in the silence and darkness that I had long waited for.

But you. You unearthly creature. Somehow, someway, your voice broke through my frozen heart and you breathed life into me. I felt your warm tear on my face and your quivering lips on my own. I felt your fear and earnestness reach out to me, begging me to come back, to stay by your side as I promised, to keep fighting for life.

The sun was blinding that day when I opened my eyes. It was like I was seeing light for the first time in a very long time. I was opening my eyes to a new world- a world that had you in it. Death still waited for me around every corner but you were now the sword I could cut it down with.

But in truth, I was just waking to another foolish dream- a dream that you will be here by my side forever. Imja, you don’t belong here in this world full of bloodshed, death haunting your dreams. You need to go back to your world where you can sleep peacefully once more.

Imja, from the moment I realized I needed you by my side, I had to prepare to say goodbye. Time that seemed so endless when I was asleep, now races by me. So with every precious moment I memorize your face. I memorize the way you smile, the way you cry, and even the little frown line between your eyes that appears when you are intently patching me up. I’m even memorizing every heavenly word that you use, even though I have no idea what they mean. I want to remember everything about you- the way your hair felt on my fingertips, the way your fingertips felt on my arm, the way your eyes looked up at me with trust and hope, and the way you waved goodbye, saying “Come back soon.”

I know it was foolish to bottle up that flower. It will turn to dust, just like any other trace of you left in this world when you leave. But memories will remain and so will the lessons you taught me. I will be left alone in this world once again but you will remain in my heart as a shelter from the battles I will face. The wind will continue to blow, carrying your fragrance in the air, and the rain will continue to fall, washing away the blood on my hands. I will carry on, wide awake, just like the way you live your life. In that way, I will remember you, every moment of my life.

Goodbye, Imja. I hope death never touches your hand again. I hope that nightmares never haunt your dreams. I hope you will continue to smile and laugh that boisterous laugh of yours. And I hope, selfishly, that you will remember me as I will remember you.

Imja, will I ever say these words to you?

I love you.

Choi Young

“Awake” by Josh Groban

A beautiful and blinding morning
The world outside begins to breathe
See the clouds arriving without warning
I need you here to shelter me

And I know that only time will tell us how
To carry on without each other

So keep me awake to memorize you
Give me more time to feel this way
We can’t stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today

If I could make these moments endless
If I could stop the winds of change
If we just keep our eyes wide open
Then everything would stay the same

And I know that only time will tell me how
We’ll carry on without each other

So keep me awake for every moment
Give us more time to be this way
We can’t stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today

Remember all the love we shared today

*Dedicated to Softy and everyone who shared their insights and love for this drama (150 comments for Episode 14!). Thanks for bringing so much life to the drama. You guys are my inspiration!

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83 Comments Post a comment
  1. sb #

    Ack, break my heart already… *sigh* *sigh* *sigh*

    October 1, 2012
  2. Lovely fan-fic! Posted right away on Fb. 😉

    October 1, 2012
  3. Gosh… Josh Groban’s song was a low low low blow T_T
    This song makes me cry every damn time I listen to it an I listen to it a lot!
    Mix it with Carry On and…
    Ahhh, I hope EunSu stays in the past with him. It will be just too unbearably sad if they part T_T

    October 1, 2012
  4. Blue Passion #

    Joonni: You should have put a warning to have the tissues box in hand. I cried reading just the first paragraph. Thanks for sharing and posting for all of us that are here together sharing this journey of this wonderful drama. Thank you for everything you do!!!

    October 1, 2012
  5. Marife #

    Speechless and so thankful that I get to read your wonderful creation jooni.. It’s so beautiful and yes.. I did cry.. I so desperately wishing that this drama will have a happy ending..can I share this? Its so lovely and so heartwarming.. I’m sure fans of this drama will love this.. thank you again for writing this and for sharing this.. I’m so happy that I’m following your posts… love you already jooni.. (^___^)

    October 1, 2012
    • joonni #

      ❤ Yes you can share it, with the proper credits of course. 😀

      October 1, 2012
  6. Joonni……….I do love u so…much. The words and the song makes my heart throb and burn….ahhhhh…so lovely…..cannot keep my hands off from writing this to you. Makes me become younger and in love…(hide) he….he….

    Thank you and hugs…and kisses…..

    October 2, 2012
  7. jaz #

    Joonniiiiiii!!! You made me cry…TT_TT

    Thank you! I really felt every word…as if it was really Young who was writing his heart out to Eunsoo. The writer and PDs of Faith should see this letter of yours and maybe they could think of making a scene out of it…you know Young actually writing it for her knowing he’s never going to be with her in the end and if he ever finds a way somehow…fate surely will not allow it. Awww…just thinking about all the heartbreak and angst makes me crazy. I don’t want a sad ending for Faith but I think it would be beautiful that way…idk…just my own POV.

    October 2, 2012
  8. armalia #

    when i read it…my tears just come down…
    so romantic,,really touching my heart

    I’m imagine if CY really send letter same like this to ES…how CY be able to write it ,,and how exspression ES read it…I’m sure they both will cry…like also when we watch that scene :(:(

    thanks Jooni …Really good Job :):)

    October 3, 2012
  9. Alondra #

    Choi’s letter you created it ? Jooni??
    or is a letter written directly Choi?
    Please answer. 🙂

    October 5, 2012
    • joonni #

      Hi Alondra,
      I made up this letter, sort of as the “inner thoughts” of Choi Young.

      October 5, 2012
      • Alondra #

        Hi!! Thanks for your answer. 🙂

        October 5, 2012
  10. I read it twice, and I was crying twice too. It feels like listening to choi young’s heart. And the song too. Really… like eun soo and choi young. Im still hoping happy ending, but back to the history book choi young have to fight for his country for the rest of hislife and die in an old age, sadly… without Eun Soo.

    October 5, 2012
  11. i’m edit this letter for you. Hope you like this. Thanks you so much for this letter 😡

    October 5, 2012
    • joonni #

      Oh my goodness, you’re so sweet! So beautiful. Thank you! Did you do the drawing yourself?

      October 5, 2012
      • Hehe. Thanks u so much, that picture from DC, i’m didn’t draw it, i edit that letter. keke :))

        October 5, 2012
    • That is sooo pretty. You’re amazing, especially if you drew that ^u^

      October 5, 2012
    • joonni #

      Thanks for leaving a link.

      October 6, 2012
  12. faither #

    *written with a sobbing face*

    OMG…. I have never been torcher by a drama as bad as Faith before.. even The King 2 Hearts done less than half of what Faith did to me. I am a self proclaimed IMJA worshipper and I live and breath IMJA 24/7.
    Don’t go back to 2012 Eun Soo…. what’s the point? when the source of your happiness in there longing for your love. This is a point of no return.. Love is everything. Everything is love.
    Regards from Amsterdam, Netherlands…

    October 6, 2012
    • joonni #

      once again, *hugs*!

      October 7, 2012
  13. ann #

    What a very sad letter, I even can’t hold my tears away while reading the letter.. I wonder why I can found the letter on the faith, would you tell what episode it belongs? Hehe…

    It’s so sad but it’s so beautiful too, I hope in the end of episode CY ‘n ES would be together as one in heaven..

    October 8, 2012
    • joonni #

      hi ann, I made up this letter as a “inner thought” letter of Choi Young. It never appeared in the drama.

      October 8, 2012
      • ann #

        Hi joon.. Yes, I finally found, it’s yours! Still, it’s such a great forms of fans dedication to the drama, if only minho know this letter, he would be very happy to know how his fans appreciate his role!

        October 12, 2012
  14. caitlynn anne #

    Omg I feel like crying after reading this! It touches every single bit of my soul! You’re an awesome writer you know that! =’)

    October 10, 2012
  15. rivel #

    im in awe..this is so beautifully written i was awww’ing the whole time. Thankyou joonni, youre an amazing writer.i dunno how u did it but all the emotions ive been bottling in my head on how CY feels considering his character as “im too badass for words” kind of dude, its heart-wrenching.. soo proud of faith fandom or rather lmh sisterlings. xx

    October 15, 2012
  16. Toni Grace #

    Simply beautiful..poignant…meaningful and from the heart…beautifully written!

    October 21, 2012
  17. Toni Grace #

    Jooni – I really enjoyed reading this letter…mine is not nearly as beautiful but I thought to try…

    Letter to My Warrior – Live well

    My Warrior

    I have questioned myself how could this happen? How could a nightmare turn into a dream that I have no wish to wake up from? How can I love this world and contemplate staying here even though it is so different from what I’m accustomed to? The answer is simple, it’s because of you.

    How could I have questioned that everything you have done for me, from the start until now could be anything but your way of saying that you care for me.

    At times you are the most infruating, frustrating man I have ever met – with your harsh words, your glares, your indifference made it really hard for me to understand you or even see you as a person. But in time – I learned that this too was all part of a wall you have built around yourself to survive living in this world…that this was not all of you.

    The way you are always there for our King to help him work through his worries, the haunting looking your eyes reflect everytime you took a life, when you scold at your Woodalchi Warriors for not following orders, yet how you mourned at their loss and your regret for not being with them – you see my brave General, your eyes give you away. The same eyes that look upon me now with a myriad of emotions – worry, concern, tenderness and agitation when I don’t follow your lead.

    How I wish I could take the burden from you somehow, even if that meant that I leave you. It hurts me knowing that you are torn between the need to protect me because that is your way and the need to follow your duty.

    Even if it was for a brief moment, when we ran away together – it will always be my fondest and most happiest memory here in your world. Do you know why Psycho? Because I could say you were mine…even for a little while. I never felt so safe and secure knowing you were at my side. I know it was selfish of me to wish in my heart that you could just stay with me and come to my world, but I knew deep inside, that you coudn’t even I asked you to.

    How can fate be so cruel to have given me someone I finally want to be with and yet have to leave?

    If I do leave, I want to leave you with memories that would make you smile and remind you that life is meant to be lived at its fullest.

    My wish for you is to have your dreams fulfilled, to walk around truly free of your burdens, to live this wonderfu life, to live long and happily.

    I wish for you to truly smile, because when you do I forget that you are not the strong, courageous General that everyone depends on…but simply a man living a moment…with me.

    I was so touched when I saw that you had kept the flower I had given you. To me, it meant that you have let me into your heart.

    Psycho, do you know that now I find myself always looking for you? It seems you have become a familiar habit to me. When you are not there my heart feels empty, do you understand what it is that I’m trying to say? I have learned to expect you to be at my side…I don’t know if I will ever get used to not having you there beside me…will I be alright?

    I have been asking myself more so these past few days…why do I need to worry about the future? When all that I have is here? Why do I need to be concern for history? When we can make a new one? But you and I know, it is just not that simple…

    I decided that if this was to be my last days in your world…I want to spend them with you. I want to remember every day, every hour, every minute and every second I spend with you. Whether that is simply to be near you, to watch you sleep, to hear you, to see you…I will hold these precious memories for always…there’s no where else I want to be but by your side.

    Before I came to your world, I was told I was going to meet a man from my past…I did not understand what that meant at the time…but now I do. YOU have always been a part of me, my fate, my destiny and the dream my heart has yearned for so long.

    They have a saying in my world ‘love endures’…knowing that I have done everything I could to make sure you are safe and alive…then I can endure living.

    Do you know why I couldn’t give my heart just to anyone? Even if I did not know it at the time, how could I give my heart…when it has always been with you…

    Live well and remember this for always…I love you

    Eun Soo (Imja)

    October 22, 2012
  18. jgie82 #

    a heartfelt expression of love expressed in this letter..seems this the reason why people keep on fallin in love despite the risks they would take..just like the imja couple who fought for their love with all their might..

    October 26, 2012
  19. varisa #

    tears… tears… tears… and more tears…
    Imja couple need a happy ending please..

    October 27, 2012
  20. Claudia #

    I totally fell in love with Faith wish it could keep on longer these poems are just what I thought he didn’t say LMH portrayed him so well that I can never think of choi young as none other than him really loved this drama

    December 9, 2012
  21. Jooni and Toni Grace,both of you are amazing persons,i am so touched by your letters youve made for Eun Soo and Choi Young,what a great minds you have..youre both gifted,,,please create or make a story,a sequel to The Faith,,what if Gen.Choi Young will go with Eun So in the present time..and of course that story would bein a happy ending..

    November 16, 2014

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