Recap: “Faith” Episode 22
Joonni: Gongmin overcomes his own obstacle while another presents itself to Eun-soo, forcing her to make a hard decision. But what a decision to make since whatever she does leaves both her and Young devastated.
Son Yoo’s henchman sneaks into Young’s room while Eun-soo is there, working on her antidote. Fortunately, Dae-man is also there and he blows his whistle for help and fights the henchman. The other Woodalchi arrive and in the ensuing struggle Eun-soo’s antidote jar is broken and smashed, destroying the culture. Dae-man takes Eun-soo away as more Woodalchi arrive to fight Son Yoo because he uses naegong. The henchman escapes with Eun-soo’s medical tools.
Gongmin says to Noguk that he is going right now to see the guy who hurt her and their baby. What he really wants to do is kill the man himself or give an order to have him killed but he is holding it in. He is upset that nobody understands, not even Choi Young, who thinks he should just give an order. Noguk comforts Gongmin, saying that she understands and supports him. Gongmin: “I could be late coming back.” Noguk: “I will be waiting.”
Dae-man has brought Eun-soo to the queen’s quarters and Lady Choi goes to see her. Eun-soo is crouching on the floor and crying and when Lady Choi helps her up, Eun-soo grabs her for a hug. Lady Choi asks Dae-man what happened but as he is hard to understand, Lady Choi asks Eun-soo. Eun-soo can’t speak through her tears.
They all go back to Young’s room, which has been left in complete chaos. Lady asks if there is any more antidote samples left but Eun-soo says no. Dae-man points out that Eun-soo’s medical tools are missing. Eun-soo gets angry- if he just wanted her stuff and not kill her, he should have just asked! Lady Choi notices Mae-hee’s headband on the floor and she picks it up. Eun-soo also notices and asks Lady Choi if the headband belonged to Mae-hee. Lady Choi doesn’t answer her directly.
Eun-soo says, “You said that he had a hard time after his fiancé died. How much did he suffer? How long?” Lady Choi asks her what it is that she really wants to say. Eun-soo struggles through her fear to explain that it takes time to start over and grow another culture for the antidote so it can’t be finished before the door to heaven opens. The only option she has, if she gives up going to heaven and resolves herself to dying here, is to try again with the antidote. But if it doesn’t work, she will die anyway. “If I die, what will happen to him?!” Lady Choi asks if Eun-soo is planning to stay.
Eun-soo says, “It that crazy? It’s crazy, right? But if I go, I think I will really go crazy. Everyday I will be thinking- is he okay, is he really okay?” Lady Choi holds Eun-soo’s hand as she says, “Ask him yourself. Although he is not used to talking about himself, if you ask, he will answer you.” (Joonni: I just…am at a loss of words to talk about Eun-soo’s pain and her love for Young.)
Son Yoo shows Ki Chul the decree from Yuan that makes Deok Heung the new king of Goryeo. Before Ki Chul can take it, however, Song Yoo asks Deok Heung what is the first thing he plans to do when he becomes king. Deok Heung replies that he will first hand over Goryeo to Yuan and then reward Ki Chul for all his efforts. He asks if Son Yoo also needs anything. (Joonni: With the amount of murderous thoughts I have about Deok Heung, I don’t know why he is still alive.)
Apparently, Deok Heung’s answer satisfies Son Yoo because he hands the decree over to Ki Chul. He explains to Ki Chul that as long as the leaders of Goryeo are busy dividing up the riches among themselves, they won’t be a bother to Yuan. Ki Chul points out that he heard Son Yoo used to be from Goryeo. Son Yoo replies yes, before. When he still had hope, that was important. He also believed that if he did well, (he/Goryeo) could claim back Goguryeo land again. But there are always people like Ki Chul in the world and everyone else is just dragged everywhere by people like him. So he decided the name of the country didn’t matter. Son Yoo gets up, declaring he won’t attend the questioning. In a separate room, Son Yoo checks his pocketwatch. (Joonni: Interesting. I don’t think there should be pocketwatch in Goryeo so he where did he get it? From his great-great grandfather?)
On their way to the Yuan embassy, Gongmin says to Young that today could turn out to be very perilous. Young agrees. Gongmin asks if Young said goodbye to Eun-soo but Young replies that he didn’t because he intends to go back. (Joonni: Yes! Some confidence and hope in this dark episode.)
Gongmin and his crew enter the room and Ki Chul starts with the formalities but Gongmin wants to cut to the chase. He sits down and states to Deok Heung that he is giving him one last chance to leave this land or accept his crime of kidnapping the queen and die. Deok Heung tries to remind Gongmin that this is a trial to determine if he is guilty of a crime but Gongmin won’t have any of that bullsh*t. He says that he is offering his forgiveness on the condition that Deok Heung leaves the country and gives up his name and claim to throne.
Deok Heung smiles and tells Ki Chul to start. Ki Chul holds up the decree from Yuan saying that Deok Heung is now king and those who oppose the king are traitors. At this point, Ki Chul’s soldiers rush into the room and Young also comes into stand protectively next to Gongmin.
Gongmin asks Deok Heung if he really means to shed blood. “Are you saying it’s okay since it’s not yours?!” Gongmin tells him that the ministers are waiting at the palace and he plans to ask them to choose between him and Deok Heung. He wants Deok Heung to wait for their answer. Ki Chul declares that he doesn’t care about the ministers or citizens. He prefers this order of events- when Gongmin refuses to submit to the new king, he is killed for his rebellion. Deok Heung, the coward that he is, laughs and leaves the room, leaving Gongmin to call after him in a final attempt to prevent the bloodshed. Ki Chul also leaves the room and his soldiers start to attack. Young tells Gongmin to leave but Gongmin wants to stay. Young once again firmly tells Gongmin that he needs to leave the room and this time Gongmin complies.
Outside, the Woodalchi fight Ki Chul’s men alone. The other royal soldiers wait for Gongmin’s orders to attack the embassy.
Back at the palace, the ministers are alerted to what Deok Heung and Ki Chul did and how Gongmin is trapped inside the embassy with only his Woodalchi to protect him. Noguk enters the royal court and declares that Gongmin had wanted her to show them this if something were to happen to him. He had left an order for the dispatch of soldiers to the Yuan embassy and the royal seal. It is up to the ministers to decide whether to stamp that order and allow the attack on the Yuan embassy. The ministers look uneasy with this responsibility and decision.
Gongmin and the Woodalchi are still inside the Yuan embassy, fighting off Ki Chul’s men. Young wants to leave but Gongmin wants to stay at the embassy. Young thinks that if there was going to be an order from the ministers, it would have come already. But Gongmin insists on staying, believing that an order will come.
At the palace, the ministers are still arguing. One of them wants to send someone to the embassy to find out exactly what happened. (Joonni: *heads desk*). Lee Jae-hyun states that he knows this is a hard decision for them to make since attacking the Yuan embassy means that they are ready to attack to Yuan. Lee Saek receives a message that notifies them of Yuan’s decree to put Deok Heung on the throne. Lee Saek wants the other ministers to reject a king placed by Yuan but the other statesmen remind him that Yuan also placed Gongmin. Lee Saek counters that they chose to serve Gongmin. Noguk looks on nervously at the slow-moving and indecisive ministers.
Ahn Jae and his men wait anxiously for the order from the ministers. His men want to go and fight without the order since there are only twelve Woodalchi protecting the king right now.
While the other Woodalchi bring Gongmin inside, Young fights alone outside. His right hand starts to shake, forcing him to use his left. He tries again to see if he can hold his sword with his right hand but he can’t and he drops his sword. Dol-bae, who has come to help with the fight, watches this with shock.
Back with Gongmin, Young reminds Gongmin that 900 royal soldiers are outside the embassy waiting for an order to attack. He knows that Gongmin thinks his ministers won’t leave him here to die but he thinks that those ministers right now are busy trying to measure out which king to serve- Deok Heung or Gongmin. Gongmin argues that this is exactly why the ministers need a push like this- he can’t have them continue to be weak. He needs his ministers’ full support to continue to rule the country properly.
Young, as he clenches his right hand, warns Gongmin that the longer this is dragged out, the harder it will become for him to protect Gongmin. Gongmin replies, “This is a matter of sending my citizens to war. I need their permission.” Young asks, “Do you believe in your ministers- your citizens?” Gongmin says, “I now consider myself as one of the citizens.” Young understands what Gongmin is trying to accomplish today so he orders his men to prepare for a long fight. Young goes out of the room and sees Ki Chul’s men taking away their dead. They stop and look at him cautiously but when Young doesn’t do anything, they continue. Young looks down at the dead men and his sword in his left hand, wondering how this will all end.
Dae-man and Eun-soo are cleaning up Young’s room. Eun-soo picks up Young’s clothes and his aspirin bottle falls out. She picks it up and looks at the flower inside. She asks Dae-man how much danger “our” Woodalchi is in. Dae-man is forever confident in Young but the other guy is worried about the small number of Woodalchi protecting the king. Eun-soo assumes that there will be a lot of bloodshed. When Dae-man asks what she is thinking, she weakly replies, “That this is what living here is like. That this person has lived everyday like this.”
Yang-gak comes with Ki Chul’s men to free Hwa-Eum. Eum-ja and Hwasooin complain that he came late. He tells them that Deok Heung has received the decree from Yuan to become king so they shouldn’t worry about the consequences of killing royal soldiers.
Noguk looks weak with worry and anxiety as she watches the ministers still trying to decide what to do. Lee Saek is saying that the people who want to dispatch the soldiers should stand on one side of the room and those who oppose on the other side- the majority will win. Another statesmen argues that even if there is a majority decision, it doesn’t means it’s right. (Joonni: I want to smash all your heads together instead of hurting mine. ARGH!)
More men come to attack and Young stands alone to face them. He takes a deep breath and holds onto his sword with two hands as he attacks. He starts to kill them off but stops in exhaustion and weariness with all the fighting.
Deok Heung paces, wondering why Ki Chul is not taking this chance to go the palace right now. Ki Chul, feeling ill, explains that it is because the royal soldiers are surrounding the embassy right now. Deok Heung declares that he is king and the royal soldiers belong to him. Ki Chul tells him to go say that to the soldiers himself and see how they respond. Of course the coward doesn’t want to so he asks then what they should do. Ki Chul responds, huddling inside his coat, that all they can do is wait for Gongmin to die. Deok Heung reminds him that Young is protecting Gongmin and all the soldiers they send to kill Gongmin won’t be able to do anything. Ki Chul yells that this is all they can do since he can’t go fight Young himself. Yang-gak comes him to report that more of their soldiers will be arriving, around twelve hundred, but it will take some time for them to arrive.
The Woodalchi all stand on guard as Gongmin continues to wait. Back at the palace, Noguk also continues to wait for the ministers’ decision. Lee Jae-hyun notices how ill Noguk looks and tries to ask her to rest. But Noguk has had enough and she asks the ministers to just say that they are going to abandon their king since Gongmin is trapped, unable to do anything, waiting and hoping for their answer. “He will wait one day, a hundred days but I can’t.” She glares at them, asking, “Do you not have the courage to abandon him or the courage to attack?”
Ahn Jae receives the royal order to attack. (Joonni: Oh my god, finally!) Yang-gak rushes to report to Ki Chul that the royal soldiers have started to attack. Ki Chul can’t believe this and is apparently losing his mind. Despite what Yang-gak says, Ki Chul doesn’t believe that the soldiers are attacking the Yuan embassy. Deok Heung still has his own sanity and tries to escape. He runs outside and sees Ki Chul’s men running way, chased by the royal army.
Ahn Jae and his men see Young on their way to Gongmin. They see him just standing there among the men he has killed. They ask if Gongmin is okay and he asks where Deok Heung is. Ahn Jae doesn’t know so Young goes to find him himself.
Ahn Jae goes to greet Gongmin and Gongmin asks if he came through a royal command. Ahn Jae confirms and tells him that he heard the royal order was given with all of the ministers’ support. Gongmin looks relieved until he notices that Young is not there. He asks anxiously where Young is.
Deok Heung is running around in the embassy, hiding from the royal soldiers. Fortunately for him, Son Yoo’s henchman comes to take him away. Young is searching for Deok Heung but he doesn’t find him. His hand is still bothering him.
It is now night and Eun-soo hears something outside. It is Young who has come back with his Woodalchi. Dae-man and everyone who had stayed behind look happy to see their daejang and friends back. Eun-soo comes rushing over to Young. He steps forward to get closer and she looks at him tearfully, relieved. Instead of hugging her like he looks like he wants to, he just says goodnight to his men and goes to his room. Eun-soo follows him.
Inside, Young carelessly throws away his sword. Eun-soo picks it up and gently places it on the table. Young is about to walk out of the room with a change of clothes but Eun-soo offers to help him take off his armor. Young declines so Eun-soo asks him to not do that- turn his back to her and avoid her. Eun-soo walks overs to wipe the blood on Young’s neck but he stops her, saying it is not his blood. The men he killed today were ordinary soldiers and it wasn’t hard to kill them. Before Young can say more, Eun-soo wordlessly puts her arms around Young’s neck and embraces him tightly. Young hugs her back, resting his head on her shoulders and finding comfort in her arms.
Gongmin tells Noguk that they didn’t catch Deok Heung. If they had, it would have been the perfect time to kill him since he tried to kill the king. He also tells her that the Yuan embassy has been completely taken over but he is unsure what to do with it. Noguk knows that something else is worrying Gongmin so she asks what his worry for today is. He smiles and says, “During the day you moved the ministers’ hearts and now at night you are trying to steal a look into the king’s heart.” He tells her that he did something terrible to Young. “In order to not shed more blood, I made only him see it. I got my justification and made him pay the price.”
Son Yoo wants Deok Heung to leave Goryeo. Deok Heung has a hard time accepting this, still saying he is the king of Goryeo. But Son Yoo warns him that the palace soldiers will be here tomorrow morning to search. He is giving Deok Heung a chance to escape now so he can come back later. (Joonni: Oh my god, will someone just kill this man?!) Deok Heung claims that he still has a final card to play but Son Yoo tells him to hand it over to Ki Chul. Son Yoo packs away his seal and Eun-soo’s tools, telling his aide to bring it to a safe house in Yuan.
Deok Heung meets with Ki Chul. He says that he will tell him where Hwata’s things are if Ki Chul gives him what he wants. He wants Young and Eun-soo dead so when he comes back they are not here. He tells Ki Chul that Eun-soo has another thing from heaven- the letter inside a small container. Ki Chul brightens up hearing this. He wonders if Deok Heung believes that Eun-soo is from heaven. Deok Heung replies that he’s never seen the material that the container was made from so whether it is from heaven or not, he is sure that Eun-soo is from some place strange and has the ability to prophesize. Deok Heung tells Ki Chul that he burned the last pages of the diary but the rest of the things are safely hidden.
Inside Young’s room, Eun-soo asks Young to pull her hand with all his strength. She doesn’t see anything physically wrong- “It’s a strong and good hand”- and wishes she had the diagnostic tools to test if there is something wrong with his nerves or if it is a psychological disorder. Eun-soo forces Young down on the bed, claiming that it is a treatment.
Eun-soo brings over Young’s sword and Young sits up. Eun-soo: “You said that this was your teacher’s sword.” Young: “Yes.” Young asks Eun-soo to sit and he wraps his arm around her to hold the sword together with her. He explains to her that the sword is specially made. Ordinary swords wear down but this sword doesn’t, even after striking rock. Also, it doesn’t easily stain with blood but yesterday it did. The sword also comes out of its scabbard quietly and when you look at the blade in the darkness, it has a soft glow, like the moonlight.
Eun-soo: “I stabbed you with this.” Young: “It also stabbed my teacher.” Eun-soo asks, “It was hard on you, wasn’t it? To lose your teacher like that.” Young replies yes. Eun-soo asks if that is why he kept on sleeping- to see him in his dreams. He tells her that in the beginning his teacher did appear but then he stopped coming even though he waited. Eun-soo asks slowly, “If you didn’t meet me, would you still have been sleeping like that?” Young replies that he doesn’t know; he has no idea what it would have been like he if hadn’t met her.
Young tells Eun-soo that he didn’t catch the guy who poisoned her and he had to let the guy who is threatening her go. “This sword wasn’t able to kill who it should have killed. It only killed the innocent.”
Gongmin gives the order for the army to raid Ki Chul and his supporters house as punishment for their treason and for the soldiers to search for Deok Heung at Youngbingwan. The soldiers accept but before Young can leave, Gongmin keeps him back. He asks how many days are left until Eun-soo has to return. Young replies fourteen days. Gongmin tells him to just search for Deok Heung today and spend the rest with Eun-soo. He heard that the antidote culture was destroyed so Young should be together with Eun-soo. Young looks shocked to hear this. (Joonni: This drama is out to kill me. I know it is.)
Dae-man explains to Young that Eun-soo asked him to not saying anything and that she cried a lot. He’s never seen someone cry that much before. Young: “She cried?”
Young confirms with Lady Choi. Lady Choi tells him Eun-soo was only worried about Young- if he will be okay when she leaves or what will happen to him if she just dies in front of him. “She didn’t care what happened to herself. She was only curious about you. So I told her to ask you herself. Did she ask?”
In Young’s room, Eun-soo is working on the antidote when she starts to cough uncontrollably. She doesn’t look well. (Joonni: Just kill me now.)
Young has come to see Son Yoo at Youngbingwan. He tells him that a carriage was seen leaving here the night of the attack on the embassy. He wants to know if it was Deok Heung leaving. Son Yoo replies that he already sent Deok Heung to Yuan. Young orders his men to make sure he is not here in the Youngbingwan.
Son Yoo brings up the poison that Eun-soo has. He heard that there was no antidote for it. He tells him he met with Eun-soo and confirmed that she is from heaven. He says, “I let her be since she is going to die anyway.” He advises Young to not keep Eun-soo by his side since he can die because of her. Young walks menacingly toward Son Yoo and demands to know what he is up too. Son Yoo replies he is only giving this advice because of the small amount of loyalty he still has toward Goryeo. Young repeats what Son Yoo said, “I might die because of the doctor?” Son Yoo replies, “It is a possibility.” He also advises Young to be wary of Ki Chul. “That’s all I can tell you.”
Young returns to his room, angry and upset. He has to pull himself together before he enters his room but when he goes in, he doesn’t see Eun-soo. Young looks over at the antidote jars and angrily knocks them over, finding them empty and confirming that the antidote culture has been destroyed.
Eun-soo is checking up on Noguk again. She tells her, if she learned properly from Jang Bin, that her pulse is strong. Eun-soo takes out some things and tells Noguk that they are comestics and soaps for her and Lady Choi to use. Noguk asks if Eun-soo is already preparing to leave. She asks when Eun-soo will leave. Eun-soo says, “I will tell you about what you asked before.” She asks Noguk if she says that she and Gongmin won’t have a child for ten years, will they not see each other. Noguk smiles and says she understands what Eun-soo is trying to say. Eun-soo says, “You two won’t be with each other very long. No matter how hard you try, it won’t even be a hundred years. So each day, love him like today.” Noguk doesn’t recognize Eun-soo’s modern word for love- sarang– so Eun-soo explains. “Just being happy to be with him so much that you can’t measure with words. Missing him so much even though he is next to you. That. Sarang.”
Eun-soo exits Noguk’s room and she is surprised to see Young rushing over. He grabs her and leads her away. He tells her that he heard about the attack in his room. He asks what she is thinking by not telling him about the antidote. She replies that she was planning to pretend that nothing happened. The Woodalchi protected her so she is safe and even though the antidote culture was destroyed, she is going to make it again. He yells, “Make it again? Can you do that before you die?” Eun-soo: “I am making it to live so why are you talking about dying first?”
Eun-soo wants to ends this conversation and leave but Young stops her. “This one time, I asked to break my oath. I was greedy and wanted to break my oath to take you back even though I had no back-up plan, couldn’t protect you, and your life was on the line.” Young swallows hard as he regrets making that confession- “What did I do?” Eun-soo replies, “What kind of promise do you make by yourself? I said that’s not it.” Young says, “What I said before- to ask you to stay- I take it back. I was wrong to think it and wrong to say it.” Eun-soo tries to reach for his hand but he takes it away and says curtly, “I will go first.” Young walks away from her.
Yang-gak is mourning the surrender of Ki Chul’s wealth in Goryeo to the palace. Ki Chul vows to get back his wealth later but first, he is concerned about Hwata’s things. Eum-ja points out that even though Ki Chul had those things for years, he has no idea what they are. “What are you going to do if you find them?” Ki Chul replies, “Because it is mine.” (Joonni: Loon.)
Hwasooin says, “How are we supposed to get it out of the king’s room and how are we to believe him (Deok Heung) anyway?” Ki Chul replies that they can only find out if Deok Heung spoke the truth by finding it. He says crazily that the land Eun-soo is from doesn’t necessarily have to be heaven. It could be somewhere else on this earth.
Yang-gak wants to leave for Yuan as soon as possible but Hwasooin is in no hurry. She wants revenge for the way Young treated her. Ki Chul wants to meet Eun-soo but Hwasooin tells him that they can’t find her- not in the medical ward or with the Suribang or in the palace. Eun-soo comes to check on Noguk but no one knows where she goes after that. (Joonni: Wow, so there is actually secrecy now in the palace? Mind blown.)
Ki Chul suggests that to get to Eun-soo, they need Young. Eum-ja is eager to fight him. Hwasooin tells Ki Chul that Young was a bit strange. She declares she wants to fight him herself. Eum-ja asks why Ki Chul is so obsessed with Eun-soo even though it seems he doesn’t really want her. Ki Chul replies that it must be because he can’t have her.
Choong-suks asks some other Woodalchi what they are doing because they are just standing around. They were watching Eun-soo and Choong-suk sees hers sitting alone holding the same yellow flower (chrysanthemum) that she gave Young before. She remembers back to when at the Yuan border, Young had promised to send her back but he said he needed her safe first so she needs to stick close to him. She also remembers the numerous other times Young had protected her and saved her.
Choong-suk interrupts her thoughts to say he will escort her back to the Woodalchi barracks. She says she will go back herself after a while. He explains that Young only has a problem expressing himself. “If you get to know him, his temper is not that ‘nasty’.” (Joonni: Pfft! Thank you for making me laugh, Choong-suk, in this really difficult episode. Still I can’t forgive you for yesterday.) He offers to find another room for her if it is uncomfortable for her in Young’s room. When she replies, “Shall we,” Choong-suk nods his head as if she just confirmed all his suspicions. He says, “Everyone was worried because according to his personality, he wouldn’t ever give up his bed. The kids said when they go in the room they see two chairs put together and they suspected you were sleeping on them.” Eun-soo smiles, knowing how wrong they are. (Joonni: So cute and so sad at the same time. This drama is driving me crazy.) She gets up and asks for him to escort her back. Choong-suk tells her she can let him know if anything is difficult.
Eun-soo comes back to Young’s room and announces that she is here but Young has his back to her. Eun-soo takes out her change of clothes as Young says, without looking at her, “We’ll leave tomorrow.” Eun-soo walks over to him and firmly states, “No.” Young ignores her and says, “Tomorrow morning, early.” Eun-soo asks Young to listen to what she has to say since he just left before only saying what he wanted to say. Young: “I’m listening.”
Eun-soo: “I am going to make my medicine and stay here.” Young: “You can’t.” Eun-soo responds, “I am going to remain and stay by your side. Whether to go or not – I’m not going to waste each day worrying about something like that.” Young angrily asks if she knows what she is saying. Eun-soo firmly replies that she knows. “If things don’t turn out right, I could die in front of your eyes.” Holding back her tears, Eun-soo says, “If that happens then watch over me. I’m asking you to hold me till the last moment and not leave me alone.”
Young can’t believe what she is saying and angrily leaves the room. He gathers his composure before entering the room again and orders her to pack right now. “We are going to there and waiting till the door opens.” Eun-soo replies, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to stay here.” Young yells, “Do I have to forcibly take you there?” Eun-soo asks, “After you send me off, after that…did you ever think about how I will be? Did you think about me?” Young replies that back in heaven, she can live.
Eun-soo says, “Yes I will probably live. In my room in the heavenly world, I will just live. Every day talking to people whose faces I don’t recognize, saying things all day long that I don’t mean. Then when it’s night, I’m going to come back to an empty room. Every time I sleep, I will call out once. ‘Are you there?’ I know there won’t be a reply. I will wake up and live another day like that- like I am dead. Don’t you know what living like that is like? You know. Because you are going to do that to.”
Young: “These few days while you are dying, I wasn’t able to be next to you. Instead of trying to get the medicine that will save my woman, I was out killing people. So how can someone like me protect you? How can I ask you to stay next to me?”
Young’s hand starts to shake and Eun-soo notices. She holds it to her heart and cries.
The look on his face just says it all. He is sick and tired of all this – fighting for things that do not matter to him anymore, killing people he doesn’t have any quarrels with, obeying orders he doesn’t agree with. But more than anything, I think he is starting to hate death. Something he can’t ever control as it looms over the woman he loves. It’s the only thing that stands between him and finally having something he has wanted so much lately – peace in his heart, mind, body, and soul. It’s not just the blood he wants to wipe clean now, he wants to be rid of its burden as well.
This is what people in love do – they have to go through this pain to cherish what they have. They have to almost lose it to appreciate it more. But as someone watching from the sidelines, I just want them to hug it out and stop trying so hard to protect each other. It wont change the outcome at all and only end up wasting the precious time they have left together.
Does anyone else feel like they need a way to detox from all this sadness?
Written before it aired: For some odd reason, I don’t think that “hat guy” is going to harm ES. I don’t think he went there to kill her. First of all cuz there are still two episodes left so unless she got an eye injury no one heard about, her character should still be safe. As for losing that antidote, at least she has the ones Young took last night to alleviate some of the pain. I wonder if DH actually planned for this sort of contingency. In the case that he dies or gets captured, that she would survive somehow without the antidote. Or am I giving him way too much credit for having any human decency. As for Young and his trembling hands, I really hope the writer has more creative juices left than to say he was poisoned. Cuz there just has to be other ways to insidiously harm someone other than poison back then. If future ES knew about all this poisoning, you would think along with hiding all those warning letters everywhere, she would leave a note about antidotes as well.
My wish came true – KC is knocking on death’s door. I don’t think anyone needs to kill him cuz his weakening powers will take care of that for us. for now DH is out of the picture, so that only leaves Hwa and Eum to contend with for the next episode. Not sure if Young can take them on in his current condition. I think his hands shake more when he is under duress, when he is anxious, nervous, or in a stressful situation cuz when he is just alone with ES he is ok for the most part. (last night when he dropped that comb he was nervous about being so close to her when she looked so good putting her hair down so that probably triggered it.) In that last scene tonight, he was agitated so it surfaced again. It’s sort of like all that talk about the sword getting heavy messed with his head. so now his body is reacting first. It just doesnt want to hold that sword anymore.
*comes back from rocking herself, huddled in some dark corner* How do you describe an episode like this? Heartbreaking, devastating, frustrating? Those words are not enough. I just…God, their loved is so doomed….I just…can’t process anything. This was the most difficult recap I have ever written. It was so hard just typing those words, trying to describe their pain. My hands kept on stopping over the keyboard to hold my head up because I just wanted to break down and cry. Recapping this drama while I watch forces me to hold all my emotions in and only during rewatch can I fully let those tears go. I can usually process some part of the drama fast enough to write this comment section but today I can’t. I just feel so numb and wretched. I know there are things to discuss about Gongmin and Son Yoo but I don’t have the energy to. Forgive me.
Okay, had a crying session while I was screencapping. A little better now.
It’s interesting how Son Yoo and Deok Heung both said the same thing about the name of the country not being important because both have very different reasons. Deok Heung cares only about himself and has never wished for anything better for his country. Son Yoo, on the other hand, once cared about Goryeo but he lost all hope because of people like Ki Chul. I wonder what Son Yoo’s history is and what kind of struggles he went through to lose all hope for humanity and become so indifferent. But I think he does still care about the world, no matter how twisted his thinking is, because he had wanted to kill Eun-soo before she caused chaos. So what Son Yoo wants is peace without a struggle but as Eun-soo pointed out, you can’t become stronger without a fight.
In this way, I understand why Gongmin chose to become the bait and stay in the embassy, although I hate how it hurt Young. I kept on thinking, “Why can’t he just choose another battle instead of this right now?” But I know that is a scary path of logic to begin to follow because you can always say- next time, next time. Those ministers need a struggle now to become stronger. While Gongmin’s decision pleases me none, I understand why he did it as a king. I would really hate to be him. But this is something that Gongmin is going to have to do over and over again during his time as a ruler- sacrificing the small for the bigger picture. As he warned Young, there might be a time in the future when he has to either exile him or have him killed. Gongmin’s burden is to carry out his duty as a ruler while still trying to protect the ones he love. He might end up having to sacrifice the people he loves for his country but that is his burden to carry. Thank god he has Noguk besides him.
Eun-soo’s love for Young astounds me. No, astound is not good enough. It can’t be expressed in words. Eun-soo rather die and spend the rest of her days with Young rather than to live without him. Young wants her to live even though he knows he will be dead without her. I know Eun-soo isn’t asking Young to go with her because she knows history and Gongmin needs him but I wonder what Young would say if she asked. Will he go with her? Will he leave everything behind to be with her? Will the writer abandon all history and let Young go into the future? Oh my god, I just talked myself into some hope. I know, I know, but I really need this sliver of hope to survive this week.